I started my work early September last year and I’ve been doing nothing since then. Can you ever imagine that?I can’t either..work for 1 year and do nothing?hah!!what a great waste of time. Seriously I rather bang my head on the wall because of the stress and pressure from doing a lot of works than come to work, sit and doing nothing..when I said nothing, seriously it’s just NOTHING. All of my other friend, who also started work about the same time as me, are already gaining a lot of experience and knowledge in their own field. Go here and there providing their expertise, skills, knowledge and even opinions for that matter. That’s what I want to do. Why is it so difficult?Just..let..me..be.. an..engineer..period!When I first joined in, they said that we, the one who will decide what we want to do, which area we want to focus, how far we want to go in this organisation. But now they say, we want you to be here and there, do this and that; we want to groom you to be like this, not like that. Oh my…my patience is being tested. Initially they were talking like we can have all sort of options that are available in this world..anything under the sun..chewah!!sedap je bunyi..now, it simply goes the other way round. What a load of crap!!
Some people might suggest that, why don’t I be proactive? Ask boss or senior for works? Fyi, the seniors as well as the bosses, MOST of them also don’t have work. Crazy isn’t it?That’s why one of my bosses always say that this whole reorganisation process is just a total mess. It messes up everybody’s life, my life in particular. It kills my motivation to work. It brings my morale way down and crushes it. It makes me earn ‘gaji bute’. It makes me feel stupid. It’s so frustrating. I hate being in this “kingdom of boredom”. I rather working, as cleaner like I used to be when I was studying in UK than being an executive who wears smart attire and comes to work everyday to do nothing, just to become a useless prat.
What makes thing worse is that I know that there is no way out for me at the moment. I just need to bear with this long lasting boredom. Somehow I just feel like, things will get better if only I get off from this place even though it seems far beyond my reach. Since I’m left with no more options, I guess I just need to be more patient and wait for miracles to happen. Some people might advice me to be a little bit optimistic, yeah I was optimistic indeed, initially. But the same thing happens over and over again for more than a year. Others are improving themselves in doing what they like, while myself still at the same spot. So I guess it will be something wrong if I still become an optimist. Hmmm…after all, the patience that only counts. People always say that there is always a light at the end of every tunnel. Yup, I think I don’t have any problem to believe in it.
P/s: Please don’t take my writing seriously, I meant no offence to anyone in particular. It’s just purely expressing my anger, disappointment and frustration in life. If it does hurt your feelings, then please forgive me.
Some people might suggest that, why don’t I be proactive? Ask boss or senior for works? Fyi, the seniors as well as the bosses, MOST of them also don’t have work. Crazy isn’t it?That’s why one of my bosses always say that this whole reorganisation process is just a total mess. It messes up everybody’s life, my life in particular. It kills my motivation to work. It brings my morale way down and crushes it. It makes me earn ‘gaji bute’. It makes me feel stupid. It’s so frustrating. I hate being in this “kingdom of boredom”. I rather working, as cleaner like I used to be when I was studying in UK than being an executive who wears smart attire and comes to work everyday to do nothing, just to become a useless prat.
What makes thing worse is that I know that there is no way out for me at the moment. I just need to bear with this long lasting boredom. Somehow I just feel like, things will get better if only I get off from this place even though it seems far beyond my reach. Since I’m left with no more options, I guess I just need to be more patient and wait for miracles to happen. Some people might advice me to be a little bit optimistic, yeah I was optimistic indeed, initially. But the same thing happens over and over again for more than a year. Others are improving themselves in doing what they like, while myself still at the same spot. So I guess it will be something wrong if I still become an optimist. Hmmm…after all, the patience that only counts. People always say that there is always a light at the end of every tunnel. Yup, I think I don’t have any problem to believe in it.
P/s: Please don’t take my writing seriously, I meant no offence to anyone in particular. It’s just purely expressing my anger, disappointment and frustration in life. If it does hurt your feelings, then please forgive me.
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